dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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