all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
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My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I AM VODKA MAN
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Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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