well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
