I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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