I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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