69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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