You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
