I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
