sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
