Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
pray to the hookup gods
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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