Kiss
Puke
My Higher Power is John Stamos
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
