Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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