no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
