My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
