I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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