i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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