I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize