Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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