who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
