oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
