i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize