omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
