can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
