After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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