she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
