He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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