he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She needs sedatives and a leash
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
