9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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