Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
