Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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