no one should ever give us hovercrafts
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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