You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
