I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
