he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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