I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
