Having a random hookup so left but love u
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
