how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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