why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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