I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
