What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Randomize
