I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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