3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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