You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
