tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
