this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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