did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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