Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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