I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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