she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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