he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
