Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
