ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
