She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
