I want to stick my p in your. b.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
