I cannot find my penis.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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