I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
