you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
