you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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