The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
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