So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
