my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
