some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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