you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize