All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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