THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Sext me about skeletons
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
